I debated and delayed writing this post as I didn’t want to fall into the cliche of stating resolutions for the new year. However, I came to quickly realize that I shouldn’t be ashamed or worried about what other people think. This post is to cleanse my own soul and if others happen to resonate with it then great, and if they don’t that’s great too.
The truth is, a new year is a blank slate. If January 1st can bring the start of the new calendar year, why can’t it also bring the start of a new year for yourself? 366 days to do better, to see new places, to meet new people.
I feel as though 2015 was an eye-opener into who I am and who I want to be as a person. In 2015, I was able to learn about the things I no longer liked and the things that I would like to start doing. I became comfortable with doing things on my own and now prefer to be alone some of the time. I became aware that I was allowed to say no to things I didn’t want to do. I don’t like going out to bars so I no longer choose to do so; why should I choose to do things that don’t offer me happiness. I am not the party-girl, I am the home-body, and that’s ok. I no longer apologize for being the person that I am. I have learned to accept my body as it is. I do not have the desire to be fit and I choose to eat food that brings me happiness and exercise in ways that not only benefit my body, but also my mind. I chose to start a blog in 2015 as a way to document how I was feeling about certain things and years later I can look back on these moments fondly. The fact that others read this blog is just a fantastic added bonus. I have learned to cope with what I now know is anxiety and I am ok with knowing that some days are not going to be easy. I became aware of my desire to see more of the world than what is at my feet. I have embraced who I am.
I’ve been reading a book called The Happiness Project that was not intended to be read as a self-help but ended up resonating with me more than I thought. If Gretchen Rubin can take a year to get a better understanding of her happiness, why couldn’t I do the same. There’s a line in the book that spoke to me so profoundly, “the days are long but the years are short”. Getting through some work days feels like an eternity, but when we’re wishing our days away waiting for the chance to go home and relax or for the next event on the weekend, the year just starts to fly by.
As we get older, we become more aware of the passing of time. Days and weeks when we were little felt like forever; when we were in high school it felt like the day when we would become free adults was a million miles away. Now that we have become those free adults, we are beginning to realize the true freedom that we had when we were younger; freedom from responsibilities and bills and the true darkness of some people in the world. Some people choose to dwell on this freedom and wish for these days back, but I say focus on the now because it’s all we have. Our lives are as exciting and as fulfilling as we make them and we can only fulfill our lives by choosing to be happy. So that’s the point of this post and that is going to be the point of my year – to choose happiness.